Its all in my mind.

I am feeling terrible today.
So terrible because I feel taken for granted.

I guess I am just a sentimental fool
Some may say I over reacted

I am creating a big farce over nothing
May be so- I don’t even know

Or probably, something has gone terribly wrong
Am I wrong in expecting? Or am I over expecting

God I must have gone crazy –
I am overreacting!

I can’t stop this strain of tears
Wonder why they flow if there is no reason

It seems like it is only he –his priority is himself
We all come second

Sometimes I wonder if we figure anywhere
Is he part of us, even aware?

I am the sounding board-everybody hits at me
I am the doormat I am beginning to see

I exist-I am important-I take the dust off your feet.
You can wipe off the dirt, the muck and I should still feel free

You are so confident that I will take it all.
And still lay there looking pretty to take some more

I have to literally beg for some appreciation
I have to wait in long anticipation

To fill the void that I carried so long
For so many days ...I can’t carry on

I have to beg ‘please…’And then as if a grace,

a small courtesy I may see

I am a great actress; I excel in pretence
I pretend and it seems like everything is fine

I appear so strong for everyone to see
But infact-I am lonely craving to be told

Once in a while – that I mean a thing
-Without having to ask, to beg or pray?

Look –I must be crazy
My mind cannot think

I guess I am wallowing in self-pity
there’s no bigger shame

Somewhere in my small mind
I can’t understand, why I so hurt

I wish I were dead, but that too I cant

My children, their thoughts hold me back

I look at their faces and wonder
What’s on their minds?

Can they see, understand or feel
Or are they too stony in their hearts inside?

I fear how they will be
When they will be men, I pray they’ll be fine

The little fellow asked me today
Why he has no time?

What is the answer I should give him?
What do I explain?

I am wondering whether this is an issue
Or am I just blowing it out of size

Believe me- I don’t know where I stand
Where I belong or what is mine!

I might be sick in my head
I am holding within, lots of feelings that I should let go

What I cannot understand is
Why is this happening to me?

Please with me I beg’
Be kind!

Now that I have let it all out
I know that I am going to be blamed

The errors will inevitably be with me
For
It’s all in my mind