The circle of life...

The circle of life is a vicious one. It continues to go on and one no matter how much you try to stop. There’s no point cribbing and expecting that something better will pop up-unless you keep to a clear and intelligent pattern of life.

Unfortunately we humans are an ironically blessed and cursed lot.
The creator gave good sense and abilities to live a comfortable life …
But feeble as we humans are, we are not in a position to comprehend
and try to become larger than God himself.

Always assuming and taking things for granted. Forgetting that the seeds we plant today are the harvest of tomorrow that will feed us in the future.

Dammed are we - not realizing our limitations and encroaching upon that bleak and blurred future that we have not yet seen. Ruining our today leaving a sore tomorrow and an undeterred future.

What are we building for ourselves… castles of despair and lost hope?

My little boys ...

I was browsing through a profile that I had projected for myself...

Fun, Fun, Fun

was what I described myself to be… Manoo(my son) was right beside me watching what His mom thought of herself.

He said this is wrong Ma, you are not fun, but you are patience
“How did you say patience Manoo, why do you think so?” I asked
He said,” You are always waiting for the month to end, waiting for your salary to come. Trying to see how meet ends.”

I was so zapped at the far thought of this 12 year old... How can he relate to the stress that his mother faces to manage within the limited income that comes into the house?

I sometimes wonder if this is what I want them to remember as they grow…
The stress and strain to run a household… always thinking of how far the penny must stretch, of what it is that can be done without and what it is that is most needed.

Whether there will ever be a day when I can forget the purse and just take an off hand decision to go out for a meal, or for a holiday. Just to give my kids a surprise that they surely must deserve.

These thoughts never elude me no matter what I do, I am living and working hard so that I can give them a comfortable life.

Don’t know what that means… Don’t know when that day will come.

How can I give them the most memorable day of their life…?
Will there be something good for them to remember when they grow up and become adults in the world of more.

Will they retain the values that we teach them and the lessons that we so painstakingly try to imbibe unto them. I always wonder what will be, in the years that will follow, when my little boys will be men.

I wish so much that they be men of character, men with feelings, men who care, men who understand and will love and be loved by all who will know them.

Look into their eyes …

Look into their eyes …and try to see the hidden dreams.
Some of which they themselves cannot word
They need somebody to help them write it out for them
Am I responsible to be there for them as long as I can?
For how long do I evade and pretend not to see
The eagerness to live and the want to achieve
The need to be understood and loved
How much of this can I give them?
Haven’t we learnt enough from the mistakes of our past?
And of those who have gone before us
Continuing to go round and round in the vicious circle of want
Where do we go from here?
Not trying to improve but continuing
To dwell in the wretchedness that comes with it
From this perch of uncertainty, I cannot think of a way
Neither am I in a position to give up
God show me a way